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You’re Not Asking for Too Much—You’re Just Asking the Wrong Man.
Let me say this gently, because I wish someone had said it to me when I needed to hear it:
Love isn’t supposed to hurt like this.
If what you’re feeling most of the time is anxiety, silence, or second-guessing… it’s not love. It’s emotional starvation. And too many of us — myself included — have been taught to call that “being loyal.” Or “holding on.” Or worse, “being patient.”
But what if the love you’ve been dreaming about isn’t some fairytale…
What if it’s just healthy? And real? And exactly what you were always meant to feel?
I want to share something personal with you. Because maybe you’re sitting where I once sat — on the edge of your bed, phone in hand, rereading his last message, trying to decode the tone, wondering if you’re overthinking again.
Let’s talk about the 7 subtle signs you might be settling for less — and how to gently reclaim your power, your peace, and your standards.
You Constantly Feel Anxious Instead of Safe
I used to think that little knot in my stomach was just butterflies. You know, nerves. Chemistry. Passion.
But honestly? It was anxiety.
If you’re always wondering where you stand, if he’s pulling away, or if you said too much—that’s not emotional safety. That’s emotional chaos.
Real love doesn’t make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
It feels like home. Like a soft exhale after holding your breath all day.
You’re Always the One Trying to “Fix” Things
I used to be the planner. The texter. The peacemaker. I’d write long paragraphs trying to explain how I felt—while he replied with, “ok.”
I’d say sorry when I wasn’t wrong. Just to stop the silence.
If you’re always the one trying, initiating, apologizing… it’s not love.
It’s emotional labor, and it’s lonely.
Love is supposed to be a two-way street—not a one-woman marathon.
You’re Confused More Than You’re Clear
“Maybe he’s just bad at texting.”
“Maybe he’s busy.”
“Maybe I’m just expecting too much.”
I used to tell myself these things on loop. But deep down, I knew: if someone wants you in their life, you won’t be confused about it.
You won’t be decoding half-hearted messages or analyzing tone like it’s a riddle.
He’ll show up. Clearly. Consistently.
Confusion is a sign. Trust it.
He Doesn’t Try to Understand You Emotionally
Let’s be honest—emotional intimacy can be uncomfortable. But when I shared my feelings and he rolled his eyes or changed the subject, it wasn’t just discomfort.
It was dismissal.
If he gets defensive when you’re vulnerable… if he mocks or minimizes your feelings… that’s not masculinity. That’s immaturity.
A man who’s emotionally available? He listens—even when it’s hard. Especially then.
You Don’t Recognize Yourself Anymore
This one hurts.
I remember looking in the mirror one morning and thinking,
“Where did I go?”
I had dimmed my needs. Swallowed my voice. Smiled when I wanted to scream.
If you feel like you’ve shapeshifted just to keep him, please hear me—
That’s not love. That’s survival.
And the real you? She’s still in there. Waiting to breathe again.
Your Gut Is Screaming… But You’re Ignoring It
Your intuition is wise. It starts as a whisper. Then a nudge.
Eventually, it screams.
But we ignore it, don’t we? Because being alone feels scarier than being misunderstood.
But hear me:
You weren’t put on this earth to shrink for someone’s comfort.
You’re not supposed to earn love by enduring pain.
Love isn’t a prize—it’s a partnership. And it’s allowed to feel good.
You’re Reading Blogs Like This… Hoping for a Sign
This is your sign.
It’s okay if you’ve stayed too long.
It’s okay if you loved him hard and hoped harder.
But it’s also okay to want more now. To outgrow the version of love that made you small.
You’re not too emotional. You’re not too needy.
And you’re definitely not asking for too much.
You’ve just been asking someone who couldn’t give it.
So, What Does Real Love Actually Feel Like?
It feels calm.
It feels like you can breathe again.
It feels like trust without the games. Like clarity without the chaos. Like being chosen—without begging.
And here’s something I learned late but never forgot:
Sometimes, a man doesn’t show up fully—not because you’re not enough—but because a part of him hasn’t been awakened yet.
There’s a concept called the Hero Instinct—and before you roll your eyes, stay with me. It’s a psychological trigger where a man wants to step up, provide, and protect… when he feels needed and valued in a very specific way.
When you know how to activate that in the right man—he doesn’t run.
He rises.
➡️ If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything right and still ending up confused and unseen— this book explains what’s been missing.
You were never too much.
You were just asking to be seen, loved, and held the way you deserve.
And guess what?
You Deserve Love.
The kind that sees you.
Chooses you.
Meets you in the middle—without being begged.
So here’s your permission to stop surviving love… and start receiving it.
💌
With love,
A woman who finally did.